More about Me
When I read that quote by Arthur Ashe 8 years ago, I was NOT living my authentic life. I was far from understanding and utilizing my strengths and talents. In fact, I really didn't think I had any. I always referred to myself as a below average person, with nothing special. At the age of 40 I was trying to live a life I had been told to live.
I held a position at a large corporation which gave me no fulfillment. It was extremely stressful, provided very little income and was a dead-end position with no future. I had two young kids who I barely spent time with. My marriage was falling apart mainly for financial reasons. My aging parents were having serious health issues, and I couldn't spare neither time nor money to visit them. My own body was suffering with extreme pain and discomfort. But the worst part of all was the feeling of failure I had to endure every day.
I was full of fear and had no idea what to do. All I knew was that I had to do something and that I had to get to a better place for my kids. I thought as a parent I owed my kids a better mom and a better life.
I was the sole income provider for my family, so quitting my job was not an option. At least that's what I thought at the time. But after reading Arthur's quote "Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can", it became clear to me that I had to start "where I was".
A few weeks later, I quit my position and took a straight commission job at another company as an insurance sales executive. This position provided me no base salary, no health insurance and no benefits. The only promise was the potential for earning an unlimited income. I decided this was my "start," so I took the position. Not knowing where my next paycheck would come from and how much it would be, I dove in and gave it my all.
I worked harder than ever before. I still didn't love what I was doing; I was still stressed out and in pain. I still had no time for my kids nor my parents; my marriage was getting worse. BUT, this time I had one thing. I had HOPE!
I knew if I succeeded doing this, I would eventually start making other changes and improvements in my life. I had to persevere and I had to be patient. Since, I burned all my bridges behind, I had no other choice but to succeed.
It took me about 2 years to replace what I was earning at my other job. And in my 5th year with the company I was the #1 District Manager in the state with my quota and earned my first 6-figure income. I qualified for incredible bonuses and all expense paid vacations. I received trophies and got recognitions beyond my wildest dreams.
Accomplishing my financial and career goals felt wonderful. It allowed me to improve many other aspects of my life. I was certainly at a better place then 5 years ago, but a part of me was still feeling a discord. Things still didn't feel right and I couldn't seem to figure out what it was. I was feeling exhausted and depleted everyday.
I was doing everything right according to the standards of the society. I was working hard, I was constantly improving my knowledge and skill sets, I was setting goals and achieving them.
But, why wasn't I happier?
Feeling frustrated, I decided to hire a life coach to help me figure it out. Little that I know, that decision was going to turn out to be the best thing I ever did for myself and for my future.
My coach helped me understand myself and get clear on my values. She helped me see a side of me that I didn't know existed.
As a result of working with her, I discovered that one of my highest value in life was "Positivity and Optimism". Once I understood that, everything made sense.
I was feeling a discord, because who I was and what I was trying to do were conflicting.
I was this positive, optimistic person, always trying to see the bright side of things, YET I was selling insurance for living!
I was sitting down with dozens of people every week and try to persuade them for why they would need insurance. In order to make a sale, I had to talk about "What if" scenarios and help them understand how having this coverage would help them if they happen to get injured, diagnosed with cancer or heart disease.
Now, truthfully I was not lying. I had tremendous respect for the company I worked for. They do an amazing job for their policy holders everyday and I always believed in the quality of the products and the services they provided. I was giving my clients the right information. The only problem was, while I was doing that I was overwriting what I innately believed in my core as an optimistic person.
So, it wasn't a surprise why I was feeling exhausted, depleted and unhappy!
I was acting out of integrity with my soul's purpose and giving every ounce of myself on the way to success.
My inner being was giving me clues all along. I was being nudged through my feelings the entire time. But, I was not paying attention, because I was too busy trying to succeed.
Shortly after this realization I have attended my company's annual kick off meeting. When I got up on stage to receive my awards, I remember smiling to the flashing cameras around me, but feeling complete emptiness inside. I realized none of it meant anything. And by the time I climbed down from the stage, I had already made my decision to quit.
I had so many reasons to stay. I was earning a great income and would have only gotten better from there. I had unlimited potential for growing bonuses and other rewards. My hierarchy respected me and were already talking about promotions. I had great flexibility in my schedule to accommodate me as a single mom.
A part of me, the logical side of me, wanted to stay. It only made perfect sense. Why on earth I walk away from something I worked so hard to get.
But, the other side of me, the intuitive side, my heart-felt feelings were telling me to walk away.
If I haven't discovered myself and understood who I was,I would have stayed and be miserable for the rest of my life.
The funny thing about awakening to your truth is; once you know what you know, you cannot un-know!
I knew I had to walk away and find the path that my soul was taking me.
I had no idea what it was and no idea where to look for it. But, I trusted that I will find it!
So, I hired my coach again and dived into soul searching.
The process of finding myself was by far the most amazing experience I've ever had in my life and one of the most fulfilling one.
As we worked together and peel the layers of my being; not only my gifts, my talents and my purpose become clearer, I also started to see my path unfolding right in front of me.
The work I was doing with my coach moved me so much and effected me so deeply that, I was fascinated with the idea of Self Discovery.
I realized, the best gift anyone can give to themselves is the gift of "self". There is nothing more exhilarating than truly knowing and understanding yourself. Once you are there everything else follows naturally.
So, I made a decision to be a coach to help people to do just that.
When I decided to become a Life Coach, I knew without a doubt that, this was my true Path!
Today, I can confidently say that I am at total peace and harmony with my life and extremely optimistic for my future.
I love what I do and feel blessed to be surrounded by wonderful friends, connections and clients.
I love helping and inspiring others to find clarity in who they are. I love guiding them through discovering their unique paths and step bravely into becoming who they truly meant to be.
I now know;
Life is not about fitting in and dealing with what we have.
It is about creating what we want].
It is not about doing it all and getting it done.
It is about figuring it out as we go along.
It is not about being perfect.
It is about making new decisions, setting new goals, doing necessary course corrections and not feeling bad about starting over when you need to.
It is not about completion; it is about the process and the experience.
It is about truly living!
In the process of finding ourselves, we loose a lot of who we are not! And that is a wonderful thing!
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