"If I want to be free,

I've got to be me!

Not the me what you think I should be,

Not the me what others think I should be,

If I want to be free,

I've got to be me!

And I've got to know who ME is." 

-bill gove-

 

Life is in constant evolvement, change and flow. It is always happening.

Transitions are inevitable and a natural part of being alive. 

In every stage, life brings us different experiences, roles and responsibilities.  We seem to have an easier time with it all when we are younger and only have ourselves to account for. 

 

But, what happens as we mature?

 

As we mature, we become a collection of things that make us who we are.  We take on responsibilities for each role we play and form new values and priorities around them.  As parents, as spouses, as employees we immerse ourselves into these roles in an effort to do our best.  

In some rare cases the priorities we form around these roles line up with who we are, our personal values and what we want from life.  We use our natural gifts and talents in these roles and we thrive as a result of it.

These are the times we feel at ease in our lives and feel fulfilled and connected. 

However, this is not the norm in most cases.  The majority of the time we feel a need to alter our values, priorities and what we really want from life in order to fit into these roles. 

We conform to society and do whatever is expected of us.  We go through the motions and try desperately to do our best. 

We push aside our own values and desires, neglect our needs and wants, abandon our natural gifts and talents in order to be everything to everyone.

We give up pursuing what makes us happy and settle to survive rather than thrive with our individuality.

We feel the discord and deep down know that something is not quite right, but we still do our best to carry on.

 

 Then come times of inevitable transitions, the shifts, the expected and unexpected changes.   

Our roles start to evolve and take on different meanings. Parents age, kids grow up, our relationships evolve, our bodies change, our minds expand and as a result our values and priorities start to shift once again. 

We find ourselves looking back questioning our choices and wonder if we could have done it differently without giving up so much of ourselves, our dreams and aspirations. 

We feel lost, frustrated and doubtful. 

A lot of times, the shifts cultivate a new expansion in our awareness, where we realize things no longer feel the same.
We  start evaluating our relationships, our jobs and our self value.  The things we used to enjoy no longer feel relevant or fulfilling. We notice we can no longer tolerate certain things and people as we used to. 

 

To our surprise, we may also notice we no longer give a damn about what other people think. With our expansion, we finally reach a point of no return and want to do whatever it takes to set ourselves free. 

We start searching  for new friendships, new endeavors and more meaningful avenues to contribute to life. 

We look for a new identity, purpose and meaning for our next chapter. We want to discover a way to bring our individuality to the world and freely express it. 

We seek a sense of self and want to reclaim what we had abandoned.

We no longer want to fit in, we want to shed our old skins and start over.

We want to Redefine who we are!

 

The question is, HOW?

"She knew this transition was not about becoming someone better, but about finally allowing herself to become who she'd always been"  --Amy Rubin

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